It was 5:30 am and I found myself running through the Tift county hospital telling my husband we were late. My husband ran behind me holding our twins' pillow and our bags.
We finally got to the hall we needed to be on and were taken to a room just inside the door outside of the operating room. I dressed down into a hospital gown and laid on the bed. I was fine. This was fine. Everything was fine. I talked with the nurse and signed all the paperwork I needed to fill out then I was given the nastiest shot of bitterness. It was to calm my stomach acids apparently. It tasted horrible and afterward, I was so nauseous that I almost threw up all over the place. I laid in the bed awhile before panic set in. I was about to have two children in this world in less than fifteen minutes. I got dizzy and Kevin began fanning me until I was able to be stable enough that I wasn't going to throw up or pass out. My whole body was shaking off the adrenaline and I was literally thinking of running as hard and fast as I could out of the hospital. A nurse my best friend/sister knows came in to talk to me and she made me feel a little calmer. Then my nurse practitioner from the obgyn came in to check on me and say hi. Seeing her calmed me down enough that I wasn't a total flight risk.
Then, the anesthesiologists came into the room, talked things over with me and it was showtime.
The operating room was next door to where my room was so I walked into the operating room. The lights were so bright that it looked almost like a spaceship. Kevin was in the other room gearing up into his surgery outfit while they prepped me with a spinal block. The spinal block wasn't too bad. I refuse to say it was painful because I told my sister it wasn't. But it definitely made me wince a little. They laid me back as quickly as they could once it was done because my body went numb from my chest down. They strapped my arms to the table and for the first time that morning, my entire existence felt so at peace.
I laid there watching my body in the lights and then I said, "Can I get that nausea medicine now?" The anesthesiologist asked if I was nauseous and I replied, "No, but I sure will be in a minute."
As they began cutting Kevin rushed into the room and sat beside me, I heard them tell him, "Don't touch anything past the curtain." Kevin was obviously not against that LOL. He sat beside me and held my hand and talked to me about what foods we'd eat when I got out of there, we talked about how excited I was to finally eat gluten and chicken. We laughed about how the pulling and tugging of my insides felt like my stomach was growling and actually made me hungry. Does that make me weird?
I watched in the lights and then looked over at my husband and I realized just how much I adored him and how things were about to change in minutes for us. Tears rolled down my face as I came to the realization that years of us working towards this was over in less than a few minutes. Our infertility struggles were going to be over. The struggling to conceive, the medicines, the heartbreak each month, the millions of ovulation tests and negative pregnancy tests, it was all at an end for us. Of course we wanted more kids later, but for now, it was over.
My thoughts were interrupted by the doctor saying, "Baby!" Then a few seconds later, "Baby!" A loud laugh and scream erupted through the room along with the funniest cry. It sounded like two little daffy ducks crying. I laughed and cried and one of the anesthesiologists leaned into my ear to narrate the scene. "Baby B is peeing on everyone and everywhere. He almost peed on the doctor's face." I laughed and watched for them to bring them around. The doctor swung past the curtain holding both babies, pee still streaming down her gown and all over the floor. Kevin and I looked at the babies shocked and so in love.
They had strawberry blonde hair. Bright strawberry blonde hair! It was such pure bliss. They measured and weighed the babies then whisked them away along with Kevin to the nursery while they finished sewing me up and they moved me back to the recovery room. After about 30 minutes there that flew by like seconds, I was moved to the mother-baby floor. Then as fast as we arrived there, the babies and Kevin were brought to me and laid on my chest. We stared at them for what felt like hours and I never wanted it to end. It was just wonderful.
The first few days feel like a blur. We had sleepless nights, the most incredible nurses helped us adjust. We had one nurse though that really made an impact on us. She was filling in on the mother-baby floor from the nursery.
She helped us take care of the babies while one of us slept she would fill in and help with bottles and diaper changes, she taught Kevin to swaddle like a million times, and helped me to walk after the surgery.
Now, this is a little graphic but at this point if you're still reading, you're probably invested in how c-sections work. Besides, you've already read about my guts being rearranged.
But this nurse, the second time I walked after surgery. I told her I had to go to the bathroom. She helped me out of the bed and held my hand as I walked as slow as an 80-year-old. Kevin slept on the couch so it was just her and I. We finally made it to the toilet and as I went to sit down, I felt a gush and blood ran down my leg. It was everywhere. Dripping down my legs, the toilet, puddling on the floor. I sat on the toilet almost crying and apologizing over and over as she told me over and over it was okay. She told me it was her job to help me and to clean this and me up. I told her something along the lines of I'm so sorry, why would you ever sign up for this. She smiled and said, "I actually work with the babies in the nursery." That's when I realized she hadn't signed up for this. LOL. But she was adamant that she was there to take care of me and our babies and this was a part of that job. After she had cleaned me up and the toilet, and the floor, she went to see if I was allowed to shower yet, which I wasn't because it hadn't been 24 hours yet. Then she helped me back to bed and tucked me back in and tended to our babies.
Within the next few days that we were in the hospital, Kayven peed on his tracker bracelet and the ENTIRE hospital was put on lockdown until he got a new one put on.
I pulled an IV out of my arm on accident and nearly gave a young nurse a heart attack while I stood in a puddle of blood yelling, "OH S***!"
I developed a spinal headache, thought it may be because of stress or the bed, then after I was sent home I went back because it got worse. Then I got a spinal patch which helped it immediately.
I finally got home after the spinal patch and was able to function and care for my babies.
I got my breastmilk supply up enough to feed twins, only to learn that Kayven has a milk allergy and can't even have it.
Kayven was started on a new formula and now has his color back and looks and sleeps so much better.
Colten is my breastmilk baby now. He is a total mess and daddy's boy. Kayven is my mama's boy and loves to be held and cuddled.
It has been a long week, but here we are. The end of week one and it has been such beautiful chaos. We've been surrounded by family and friends and I couldn't have asked for anything more. I am so glad to finally be settling into our lives and home again as a family.
It's been wild this week.
But, it's so lovely to be settling into "normal-ness" again.
-Lady of the Farm.
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