Molly.

What a week! I've been a little M.I.A. this week. It's been chaotic. I've taken on a new responsibility around the farm, bottle feeding Holly, which I'll get into more in a minute. I've been coming home, feeding the chickens, feeding Holly, cooking dinner, and falling asleep on the couch, put that on repeat for a few days and you have my week. I am so glad to have a peaceful moment to write on my blog. NOTE: It is 7:00 A.M. on my day off and the farm is still asleep. All you can hear is the occasional meow of Allie Cat, the crowing of Goliath the Roo and a bird chirping outside our window.

I think this is the most peace I have had in my entire week. This quiet moment before the house awakes.

So, let's talk about something I have been dreading. Maybe this is another reason I've been missing because I didn't want to write this post. But you know me if I introduce y'all to one of my animal babies and something happens, I have to give you closure just like I need closure.

Let's talk about Molly.

Some may say I didn't try hard enough to save her, some may say I tried too hard and some may say that I stressed her by trying. Whichever way you swing, I know I tried everything I could. We tried medicine, stuff for her sugar, and every other suggestion we could think of. We tried suggestions given to us on Facebook by other cattle owners, we tried stuff Kevin had done before when he had this happen, we even tried something my Poppy had told Kevin about before he passed. We tried our best, it just wasn't good enough.

But let's start from the beginning...

Molly had run through the cow barn arena and The Farmer fell in love. She was 8 months pregnant and the most beautiful girl. She was in poor condition with her hip bones small and showing, she probably shouldn't have even been bred but she was and that was what we were working with. The day the Farmer went to pick her up he drug me along even though I was giving out from work. I peeked out the window at her the whole way home saying, "She's the most perfect thing I've ever seen! She's so beautiful!"

When we got her home, I made my father in law a little nervous because I was comfortable being around her, I walked straight up to the pen and began talking to her like she was a person.

"It's okay Molly, this is your new home. You're going to have your baby here and we will make you into a mama cow and you'll live here forever no more crowded sale barns."

She was mine. My first cow and she was the most beautiful one I'd ever seen.

Flash forward to about three weeks and Molly's doing good, I walk out to see her one morning and my Father in Law is standing in the pasture with his hands on his hips. "You're a new mama Adrian! You have a baby!" I went into a run and you would've thought it was me having the baby. I was laughing, crying, and taking pictures of this beautiful little baby that my big beautiful baby had just had. I called her Holly. The birth went perfectly with her shedding all the afterbirth, everything seemed fine.

After a few days of being a mama, the new wore off and Molly stopped eating and drinking. She wanted to be away from the baby and she couldn't produce much milk for this hungry little booger. Holly was constantly trying to get milk but poor Molly just couldn't produce it as fast as the baby wanted it. We began bottle feeding Holly but she still wanted her mama's milk even after taking a whole bottle. Molly seemed depressed and The Farmer thought it was a little strange that I could walk up to the baby and Molly wouldn't even try to come after me, she would just walk away with the others.

We decided to put them back in the corral that Molly had been in just so we could monitor her eating and drinking to see how much she actually was taking in. We gave her some shots to clear out any issues and she seemed fine but one day she laid down and couldn't get back up. That's when things got serious. We began giving her medicine and stuff for energy. My Farmer tried to get her up with no luck. She just couldn't get up.

I went out there every day after work and she had begun eating and drinking again. I told the Farmer that it was almost like she was having postpartum depression and realized she was getting weaker by not eating and drinking but once she realized that and began eating and drinking again, it was too late. I stayed out there with her for hours just spending moments with her, she loved me running my fingers through her hair and sitting next to her talking about my day. Then we began trying the hip lift. I don't know the technical name for it but we will call it "Hip Lift".

We used the hip lift one night and she kept slipping through because of her poor little tiny hips. So we put some added cushion in there like a quilt and we were able to lift her but she wouldn't even try to help herself she just dangled there, she tried to push up with her front feet but she couldn't get up all the way even with her trying to help her by standing under her and holding her up. It was hard to watch but I knew if she didn't get up, she would definitely be a goner. The Farmer said her legs were now asleep and it would be hard to get them awake but we'd try in the morning since it was so dark out at that time.

The next morning I headed to work and The Farmer and his dad tried lifting her again.

He called and told me that she had given up and wasn't even trying to push herself up like she had the night before and when they put her down she was so stressed that she was barely breathing. At that point, I felt like we may be doing more harm to her than good. I told him to let her be and don't stress her anymore that day. He gave her something for her nerves and later he called and said he didn't think she had made it. I refused to believe it so when I got home I grabbed on my boots and headed to the corral.

She was indeed dead but where was Holly? I panicked looking around for Holly. Then I saw her in the pasture with the others. She saw me and came over to where I was and we went to the corral together to say goodbye. I petted Molly's hair and Holly did a "moo" a few times, I stepped back to give her some room and she went to her mama and licked her ear a couple times then came over to me and we both just sat there letting it all sink in. I looked over at Holly and said, "Well, I guess it's just us two now." The Farmer came home and took Molly out of the corral and I fed Holly her bottle. It was a weird feeling having her gone. It was almost like I was numb but still sad that my first mama cow had just passed away and I was left with her baby girl to raise.

So, here we go with the next chapter of this crazy farm story that never ends... Keep Holly & I in your prayers as we go on through this next part of our life together. 💔❤