As a blogger with a public platform, I expect some people will not always agree with me or my parenting methods, which is why I don't talk about the really controversial things, I know some people won't agree. I accept that full heartedly. There is an unlike and unfollow button for a reason. But yesterday, a woman who I don't even know and has never interacted on blog decided to comment on how foolish I was to be letting a cow lick my son's foot.
So, I'm going to address that comment fully here.
What you see vs. What I see.
When you see a photo or video on my blog, you're seeing a small snippet of our day. You're seeing the tiniest sliver of what I want you to see. You're not seeing a cow that is worked with daily. You're not seeing a cow who is genuinely curious about humans and kids. You don't see the four adults watching closely within 12 inches out of frame. You don't see me with a wipe cleaning his leg right after. You see a small snippet of our lives. Not the entire photo.
My Anxiety is Exhausting.
My anxiety is another thing that's very watchful over these two boys. I had postpartum anxiety terribly bad. Like can't even get in the car without intrusive thoughts telling me we were going to wreck the entire ride.
This woman was shaming me for not "using my brain" and letting my boys do "dangerous things". But let me tell you about the thoughts my "brain" puts in me... Our precious little babies could be hurt doing daily things like riding in the car, going to the movie theater (You can't see the other people next to you and I'm not here for that.), grocery store (we got robbed when I was a baby and my mom was thrown down on top of me), and don't even get me started on kissing babies and all the numerous things that can land them in the ICU overnight that aren't even farm related.
So, yeah. My anxiety protects them. I'm constantly watching the situation, watching the people around us, constantly making note of who has been on the same aisle as us too many times for my comfort, watching the people who interact with them in line at the grocery store.
On the farm, it is the same way. I don't leave the yard without the farmer right behind me in case of snakes. I am constantly watching for hawks, foxes, coyotes, wild animals, roosters (who have never spurred anyone btw), and constantly just watching our surroundings. My anxiety keeps me on high alert 24/7. It's exhausting mentally.
Forcing a Situation = Get Hurt.
When I was about 4 years old I had an experience that I still remember vividly that taught me a valuable lesson. I snuck off away from my nanny and papa. I wanted our dog, "Blue" to be my friend so I thought in my four year old mind, to do that I could be a dog too. So I tied a rope to my neck and wrapped it around several times and tied it to Blue's neck. Which, Blue panicked and took off with me dragging behind. My nanny and papa realized I wasn't beside them pretty quickly so they saved my life. My papa held the dog down while nanny struggled to get the rope from around my neck. It was a super scary day, but it taught me a lesson that day, you cannot force an animal to do anything without some sort of panic or retaliation from the animal.
So let's now, talk about her post.
She talked about how she had been showing some kid's an ostrich and one of the ostriches kicked her and almost ruined her back forever.
Soo, the way I picture this is she's holding an ostrich who doesn't want to be held up to some kids for them to get an up close and personal look at an ostrich (who is known to be a very sassy animal anyway) and she got kicked.
But my activities of letting a cow who is socialized daily, walk up to the boys WITH NO FORCE FROM US, that's dangerous and foolish.
Our rule is this, if the animal comes to you, we use gentle hands if we pet it and we don't grab it.
Her next part of the comment was how she "despises" seeing newborn babies cuddled up to dogs. While I don't agree that my kids will be curled up with the dogs... LOL I do have another point for this...
When we were pregnant, soooo many people asked what would we do with our four boykins. Well, things did change a little when the boys came home, but not too much. The week I was in the hospital we had a fence put up around our yard. When we came home, during the day we'd let the dogs outside to play and we bring them inside to sleep in their kennels in their very own room. We don't call them kennels either, it's their bedrooms. The first week the boys were home, we introduced them to the dogs one by one each day. Now that the boys are a little bigger we take them outside with the dogs and the dogs will come up to the boys. The boys just laugh and we're teaching them that when we pet an animal we use the backs of our hands, "gentle hands".
So, all that to say... We don't FORCE our animals to see our kids or be petted by our kids. We let the animals be curious and let the kids be curious and let them figure it out on their own terms. We have never held an animal "hostage" for the sake of a opportunity to be paraded around for our kids to have a show. That's not how you care for animals. They're not to entertain kids. Sure, they can be entertaining, but we don't force them to do anything BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET HURT.
I do however, accept any and all criticism for my parenting.
I went through hoops and hurdles to get these two little sweet boys. I spent my life savings on two miscarriages and around 4-5 years worth of treatments, procedures, fertility testing, & bloodwork.
So, if you want to criticize my parenting, feel free to do so BUT I also want to see you liking and commenting good stuff on a REGULAR basis, and I want to see you buying up my market store. Becuase if you're someone who doesn't do those things to support me, but then you can criticize and mom shame me, I can't take you seriously.
-LadyoftheFarm.
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